Between a rock and a hard place
by GemmaHunter
Summary: Who is he to believe
1. The Beginning

I sigh it's 3.30 in the morning and there is nothing on the telly just trash honestly why is there nothing good ever on? In case you are wondering I am waiting for my boyfriend of 2 years Josh. He should be home any time soon from being away and like the perfect girlfriend I wait for him. Ok Its now 3.35 and still nothing is on how do people with insomnia cope with nothing to watch ooh Ugly Betty on E4 I dont see why Ugly though I don't think she is and when ask Josh he grunts and says he doesnt care honestly men the amount of times I had to pretend that i care about sports for him. I started to watch it and feel my eye lids get heavy sighing again I get up and take a piece of chocolate from the fridge well ok its Josh's chocolate but will replace it before he even knows.

I shot straight up oh god Im terrible girlfriend have remembered that Josh is home and I stupidly fell asleep oh god I look at the time 8.32 oh no oh I just realise I am in bed did I walk here last night ah yes it was cold and thought Id watch telly in bed I lay back down and hear snoring oh god have been burgled and now the man is asleep bloody cheeky hold up its Josh yay god I have missed him he looks so handsome even when asleep he has a grin on his face I wonder how much of a telling off I'd get for kissing him oh those kisses made me melt he had me wrapped round his finger and he knew it. I may as well sleep now Josh is home or should I make breakfast no no Josh hates my cooking I keep telling him that the meat was off and thats what made him sick I wasnt about to admit that maybe the chicken should have been cooked longer I couldnt stand the way he would rub my face in it what if we had an argument could just see him "at least I know how to cook" I cant rest now gahh oh I know ill listen to my iPod for a bit that always helps oh have just remembered its on Josh's side and he would kill me if I disturbed him I grab my mobile 3 messages wonder who texted me 2 from Josh and one from Sadie my best friend and the girlfriend of Josh's best friend Patrick. I read the ones from Josh "Hi baby hope u ok plane delayed for at least a couple of hours go 2 bed love you" aww I love you Josh "Hey sexy ass in taxi now going to P first cant wait to see you love u x" he always writes I love you and Sadie "P wants to know if u n J up for a night out tomorrow when they recovered" I smile and hit reply "Hey S J asleep P ok ok for tomorrow will ask J first thou" I send to her I always check with Josh now as I said that we would go out but had no idea he was planning a romantic night for me for our annerversary well honestly he should not be so bloody secretive. I lay my head on the pillow and turn and look at Josh god I love him he also has a fantastically hot body god not at this time of the am and last time I tried it it was a disaster Josh was on his back sleeping and I was drunk and climbed on top of him but I er ended up on the floor Josh had woken up after I said "oh fuck" and thumped to the floor and he found this of great amousement bloody man.

I feel as if I have been watching him for hours oh that sounds like am a stalker but I feel like I have. I smile he has really made my life complete I gently brush his hair away from his eyes I love when we kiss rubbing my fingers through the hair I think of the first time we met.

I had moved to America because I needed to get away from the UK my ex boyfriend made my life hell and wanted a completely different change. I got a job working in the TNA office being Secretary to one of the Partners. This is where I met Sadie. She took me under her wing and totally looked after me. She had been seeing Patrick but nobody was to know as she was worried that shed get judged. Anyways after a few weeks Sadie invited me out for tea with her and Patrick and one of Patrick's friends I never realised that Sadie was setting me up. Anyways at the meal Sadie and Patrick couldnt keep their hands off each other and me and Josh felt embarrassed. Sadie dragged me to the toilet and said she was going and her and Patrick left Josh paid for the tea although I did try and give him money he was not for having any of it. As we walked out Josh offered to walk me home as I had no idea where I was he did laugh when I asked for directions honestly its not that funny but anyways he walked me home he even gave me his jacket when I shivered he was the perfect gentleman. When I got to my flat I offered Josh a coffee I panicked a bit realising I hardly knew him, this would be my first sort of date since my ex and that I dont actually have coffee. Imagine my horror when he said yes oh god ok keep it together just let him in and give him wine yes that secret wine that I drink on a night curled up on sofa eating chocolate thinking about my ex lover I begrudgingly open the door I apologise for the mess and that I had not had chance to unpack he did not need to know that I had been living here for seven months and I hardly had any room for it all. I told him to sit on the sofa and I got him one of the beers that I had got as a present as he told me he hated wine how could anyone hate wine i wonder. Anyways we got talking and realised we had loads in common ok maybe not loads I wasnt a sporty type of girl he hated wine and my cheesey cds honestly he could of just chosen a cd to listen to but no he had to make fun of my cds there is nothing wrong with having some good pop cds. I looked at the time it was 2.00 in the morning we had left the restaurant around 9.00 and he had been here for god knows how long it did not seem like he wanted to leave oh god how much wine have I had I so wanted to kiss him as he talked I look at his soft lips oh god he stopped talking what did he say oh no he is waiting for an answer "erm I agree with you" I decide to say ha yes good thinking "So you think my ex girlfriend should have cheated on me" he looked sad I blush so hard oh god why did I have to say that does that window open he turns and smiles "am joking" he places his hand on my knee oh Josh dont you have no idea how much I want you right now "I asked if you dont mind if I crash here as my house is the other side of the town and feel a bit too drunk to walk home" oh god stay in my bed we dont have to sleep I want to say "Course you can Ill get you some covers" i smile back and here comes the tricky bit trying to walk without wobbling or making a fool of myself Joshs hand is still on my knee and he has this ultra cute smile that melts my heart. I dont want to move I want him to say "I want you right here right now" but instead he squeezes my knee and thanks me gahh he gets up and helps me up too "I think spare sheets in second bedroom" i tell him he puts his hand in mine and gives it a small squeeze he walks in front of me I get a quick glance in mirror oh my god I look terrible hair all over place make up smudged oh god the 'i want you' is never going to come I tell him where the second bedroom is as he enters he flicked the light switch on oh no I forgot about all the boxes hidden in here he smiled "you dont travel light" he says I cant speak I nodd eventually he finds some spare covers and makes a bed for himself on the sofa as I turned to go to bed and cringe about tonight he grabbed my arm and kisses my cheek "Thank you for the best night ever" he whispers oh god I want kiss him even more now "It er you er" SPEAK YOU TOOL SPEAK I silently yell to myself "It was Sadie" I say oh christ of all the idiotic things to say he laughs yeah Josh just laugh at me I feel so embarrassed right now thank god its dark and you cannot see the hardcore redness in my face "I can see you dont like compliements" he whispered Josh right now you are so damn sexy "You should be used to them your ex boyfriend is a total moron for letting you go" he whispers I freeze oh god I never said anything about him did I I try to remember and as am doing so Josh grabbed my hand and leads me to the sofa and sat me down "Sadie told me he sounds like an asshole" he whispers bloody Sadie Ill kill her all night I have not thought about him once and now I feel hurt I want to cry or even better run but I cant as Josh has my hand and am way to drunk "you shouldnt feel like its your fault he is the idiot" he tells me shut up Josh this is not making me feel any better I nodd Im ok now all he did was cheat...with one of my best friends "worse things happen" i whisper back to him "It must of hurt" he says to me I nodd "it did look Im gonna go to bed" i whisper he simply nodds with my hand still wrapped up in his he gives me a small squeeze "I didnt mean to upset you" he tells me "you havent Im just tired" i say with tears threatening to fall please dont let this happen he kisses my hand softly and I see an outline of his smile "If you want to talk to me" he says I nodd "Goodnight Josh" I say standing up hoping that I dont fall over in the process I get to my room change into a baggy tshirt i had been using as a nightie and get in to bed I hear Josh cursing himself I smile he is a great guy but for some reason I start to cry oh no Im totally over my ex I want and need a new start so why am I crying I hear his footsteps oh shit please dont come in he gently knocks on my door I quickly wipe my tears and tell him its ok to come in he sits on my bed and grabs my hand "Look Im sorry I really didnt mean to upset you thing is and I know you probably wont want to hear this but I have to say it I like you" he says looking at me "As a friend" i question he smiles "no its more than that" he tells me "I like you too" I say oh shit what the hell have I just said "Thing is I dont want to be the rebound guy and dont want to get hurt Ive been there before" he scratches the back of his head "Ill go home if you want me to" I shake my head now I lean closer to him and I kiss him. Ok Im kissing the HOTTEST guy ever. He pulls me in closer and he pulls apart "dont feel you have to do this" he says "I dont i Kinda of erm wanted to kiss you for ages" i admit and I was not disappointed he smiled "I cant believe Sadie told you about my ex though" i say still feeling slightly outraged "She told me and Patrick cos she thought we would be able to help and plus you have only just moved here so you wouldnt know too many people I guess she was looking out for you" he says I smile wow he does know how to make me feel better.

I smile now to myself Two years I have spent with this man he has been so good to me. He gently stirs oh shit I quickly close my eyes why have I just done that he gently kisses the top of my head and puts his arm around me he rests his his cheek on top of my head I open my eyes "I knew you wasnt asleep" he whispers how does he know? "Welcome home" I say to him secretly I so happy that he is home "good to be home" he replies I kiss his cheek "Was the touring ok" i ask I always ask this as it makes it seem I am interested "No boring without you" he tells me just then the doorbell rings I look at the time its now 11.00 Josh doesnt seem to be getting it so I get out of bed it was a postman with 7 boxes for me to sign I feel confused what is it I sign and take the boxes in with help I open one of the boxes it is a beautiful wedding dress then I have a flash back Sadie was here one night and we got drunk and we bought wedding dresses from ebay damn damn wine and damn ebay and Sadie oh shit Josh cant see this I quickly pick up two of the boxes and shove it in spare room ahh perfect plan as I get the last box I turn Josh is staring at me I let out a little scream oh god he knows doesnt he "whats in there" he asks with his arms folded looking all authority like honestly does he not trust me "A present for you" i say god when did I get good at this "uh huh so what is it" he asks "youll find out" i tell him and carry the box to the spare room as I walk past him he grabs my arm oh shit am I in trouble "You didnt have to buy me anything" he says kissing my cheek ok now I feel guilty I smile "dont be silly" i tell him and smile I carry the box through silently cursing myself no panic I will simply buy him something in town and he cant complain at that I close the door of the spare room Josh is in the same position he opens his arms an indication that he wants to hug me I smile and go into his arms he kisses the top of my head does it get any better "Can I just ask" he says "why do you look so guilty" oh no I panic ok stay calm "Cos I wanted this to be a surprise and now you know about it"I look down oh god dont do that he knows Im lying "well i cant wait much longer let me see my present" I look up at him "Not yet Josh" maybe on our wedding day "Why" he wines oh god "Because anyways you want breakfast" I offer he pulls a face "yes but Ill make it you almost killed me with that chicken" he smirks bloody bastard "it was past its best" i shout at him as he walks away "Face it you cant cook" he shouts back I want to put on the wedding dress now that would make me feel better or going to the shops then I remember about the night out I run into the kitchen Josh is making toast "Sadie wants to know if you want to go out tonight with her and Patrick" i tell him "Ok" he smiles honestly he has been away for ages you would think hed want to spend time together he walks behind me kissing my neck as he wraps his arms around me I smile god I want him I turn around and we kiss deeply and passionately he lifts me up and puts me on the side of the kitchen surface I run my fingers through his hair I hear the toast popping up but at this moment in time I dont care he pulls away please dont say he would rather have toast "Lets go to the bedroom I need to thank you" he whispers "Thank me for what" i ask all confused he grins "The present silly girl" oh shit I forgot I smile and we go to the bedroom for you know what.

Afterwards Josh goes for a shower this is my perfect chance to try on one of the dresses I take the one that I already opened and put it on it fits perfectly well a little tight but will slim down for my wedding its a corset with a long skirt god I love it I am dying to show someone I quitely sneak into the main bedroom and look in the mirror I smile oh I cant wait to be Mrs J Harter I daydream about our wedding Sadie would be my maid of honour in a totally beautiful scarlet red corset dress and Patrick would be Josh's best man and Josh would look insanely beautiful and tell me I look good I sigh contently and am rudely interupted by Josh coughing oh fuck I turn and there he is with a towel wrapped round his waist shit shit shit ok I can just say am looking after it for someone no er its someone elses post but then hed ask why Id open it and I cant lie fast I blush I feel guilty ok cant I just rewind time and this wouldnt happen "Is this my present" he asks oh fuck I look away "You shower" I mutter out yes good point why wasnt he in the shower ok it doesnt get me out of this situation "I have been in there for over 40 minutes" oh no how long did I daydream for I dont know where to look "One little question why in the hell have you got a wedding dress on" I so want to die "Because" i stutter out "go on" he says he does not look impressed ok I cant work with all this pressure ok just take a deep breath and tell him its not as if he hasnt done anything stupid when hes been drunk ok maybe I shouldnt say that oh god why did I have to try this on yes joy his mobile is ringing he goes to grab it ok this will buy me some time but he ignores the call fuck fucky fuck fuck "its oh god" i look up he looks angry now "just tell me the truth"he says he sounds so pissed off a few hours ago everything was fine and I didnt have 7 dresses "Ok Josh you win" I sigh "I was drunk with Sadie and I bought a wedding dress for a laugh ok" i say he still doesnt look happy "why in the hell would you buy a dress for" well Josh there is more than one but I cant tell him that honestly I bet even Mr Darcy never talked to Elizabeth Bennett like this it took all I had not to slap him "I did not realise there is a law to say you have to be bride to have one of these dresses" i want to leave but he is blocking my way I felt proud of my remark he sighs and runs his hand through his hair "and Sadie got a dress too" I say to him in a hope that it takes some of the pressure off me god knows what would happen if he knew that there was more than one dress and honestly its my money and I can have a dress if I want one "do you want to get married" he says looking down oh god we never had these talks and he was once engaged but the girl went off with another guy Sadie said it killed him and that he vowed hed never get married ok maybe if I could get past him and run in to the spare room I could stay there forever no no thats being silly I shrug "I dont know" I tell him I would marry Josh tomorrow but he does not need any more power over me he sighs again and moves "go and get changed and we will talk" oh god here comes the 'your dumped' speech why was I so stupid I have totally wrecked everything and ruined my life with Josh I cant move I am frozen to this spot oh god the newspapers will take pictures of me looking like this and headline "boyfriend dumps icewoman" I feel sick I feel Josh getting closer to me oh I dont know if to laugh or cry he kisses my cheek and hugs me I hug him back oh no he is wetting my beautiful your dumped dress "You know you look absolutely beautiful" he whispers but your dumped I keep expecting to hear "I am sorry it just shocked me to see you in a wedding dress thats all" "So are you dumping me" I say quietly he laughs oh great hes going to be cruel "Dump you no way marry you maybe one day" he says am confused he "maybe one day when we are both ready" he says looking into my eyes I smile and we kiss yay its the best day ever "Now go and get changed" he orders honestly he has taking all the fun out of it I turn my back to him "Er Josh" "yeah" "could you help me" I move my hair and he unzips me he puts his arms inside the dress and hug my midsection was I just angry with him "God your sexy" he whispers and kisses my shoulder bloody man think he can just win me round like that ok maybe he can.

I put on a black cami with a flower design and black jeans and flat shoes I grab my bag and I walk in to the living room where Josh is sat on his mobile talking to someone ok I could sneak into town buy my going out outfit and sneak back but am now scared after the wedding dress incident that and Josh had said that he was keeping me on a tight leash "Yeah dude totally" i hear him say I roll my eyes and grab my phone I sit on the sofa that is oposit to the chair Josh is sat on "I totally caught her in a wedding dress" I shot him a look oh god who is he telling I could kill him "She said that Sadie got one too" honestly does he have to tell everyone am already embarrassed "I have never seen her so embarrassed" he laughs right fuck him and his beautiful bastard face I get up and storm to the bedroom I watch tv and read the message I have from Sadie "P found my dress hows are urs S" I reply I feel fuming with Josh right now 'J caught me in mine am in middle of fight with him hes a total bastard' send Sadie then rings me ha Josh Sadie makes me feel better "Hey doll you ok" she greets me "Hey Sadie Im ok Josh wont be" I tell her I feel fuming she laughs "How did he catch you" she asks me honestly you would think my best friend would be on my side "Josh was in the shower and I tried it on if I hadnt of daydreamed then he wouldnt of seen in it" "what was it like" She says laughing trust Sadie to laugh at my misfortune "I love it Sadie and now if we did get married I cant wear it cause Josh has seen it" Sadie laughs "well you have plenty to chose from" she says I hear a noise "Oh fuck Ill talk later honey see you tonight" she quickly hangs up the phone I sigh I hear Josh coming through he enters wow he looks good but am not talking to him will stand my ground with him "I just had an interesting chat with Patrick" he begins "Oh you mean you told him about me in the dress honestly Josh why did you tell him" I ask ha your going down sucker I feel confident now he is in the wrong "Oh no your not getting out of it" he says am confused I look at him "What" I begin he interupts "What did Sadie mean you have plenty to choose from" Oh no Patrick must of heard Sadie oh FUCK! "I have no idea" oh yes that sounded innocent I want to grin but know that I cant "Well Ill let it go if" why oh why did there have to be an if "you show me what is in the spare room oh no I cant show him he will know that there is a few boxes that I still hadnt unpacked from moving ah yes Ill say that it is my old stuff ha I am a genius "Ok then Josh seeing as you wont believe me" I lead the way in I open the door Josh sighs "you still havent unpacked" he said sounding annoyed OK this was a bad idea now he is mad "I just wanted to make our home perfect and these didnt belong I just havent got around to sorting it out yet" he looks over at the Wedding Dress wow I love it and hate it at the same time he isnt suspicious yay "Ok hon am sorry I didnt believe you" he hugs me ha he thinks that the boxes are just old items I will find a place for them eventually and Josh will be none the wiser I could kiss me.

Josh as a treat said that we could go shopping as he thinks Im still mad about the whole telling Patrick thing I texted Sadie and told her everything she promised that Patrick wouldnt say anything as he thinks Im going to sell them honestly why would I I never know if these dresses could come in handy or if I did get married I could get married here and in uk and on a beach and in a church and an registry office and I want choice. Josh squeezes my hand and smiles at me I give him my 'Im pissed off' look that will teach him. I look away I still feel the urge to kick him in the balls hard but if I did we wouldnt be able to have children although Josh does act like a child he lets go of my hand and puts his arm around me "your sexy when your mad" he whispers "Who says Im mad" oh yes good one "Cause I told Patrick about the dress" he replied I sigh "Maybe I am" i say "I have every reason" ok maybe not every reason "It was funny" he says I stop and turn around "funny for who" I ask I get the feeling Josh loves to wind me up he looks down "Im sorry" he looks at me I have never felt so powerful I felt like Alan Sugar telling the candidate that he is fired I felt a buzz I turn back around "Anyways I have reason to be mad too" he says and just like that all power is gone "You secretly bought a dress a WEDDING DRESS and never told me" he says shit I hoped he had forgotten "and how was I meant to tell you" I ask him maybe if he said "have you bought a wedding dress whilst drunk with Sadie on ebay" then I would say Yes...well maybe not right away "You could of" is his reply "Look this is silly cant we just make up" he pleads yay all power is mine all mine Im one powerful bitch ok maybe not that powerful I nodd He picks me up and spins me around am secretly thankful that I have not been drinking today or in the last 24 hours "I hate it when your mad with me" he says as he puts me down. We kiss and get into town. I hate shopping with Josh he always moans like a young boy with his mum and tells me that the outfit doesnt suit me and has said on more than one occasion that my arse looks big in certain things bloody cheek.

After 3 solid hours of Josh moaning me giving in and letting him go to Game shop as long he bought something to wear I spend over £120 quid for a long black strapless dress that is cut at the bottom at an angle and a slit up the side knee length black boots accessories make up and a bag am pleased with what I picked I get a text of Josh telling me to meet him at the shopping mall at the benches As I go in I see him I wonder what he will wear he always looked handsome whatever it was I look oh god he is grinning "You know how you got a wedding dress" he is smirking oh god how often is the dress going to be used against me "I bought something for me" all I see are Game bags the shops are now all shutting ok "I bought a 360" ok what the hell is a 360 I see it is a game box honestly that is all Josh gets and he has loads of games for it I want to be annoyed but know that I cant be I sigh really why does he need this "Did you buy anything to wear" I ask he shakes his head but still smirking "Come on have booked a taxi" he says standing up he chucks a bag at me full of games "Carry this for us babe" he says gahh but i do. In the taxi Josh is busy looking at the games honestly he is like a child I sigh and look out the window. After what felt like an eternity in the taxi we are home Josh pays for the taxi and is practically running to the flat have only two hours to get ready I close the front door and walk up the stairs I enter our flat and kick off my shoes Josh is like a hyper six year old it is only a chuffing game thing he has millions already I walk into the lounge and sit on sofa he is busy sorting out his machine thing I put his bag down "Am off for shower" i tell him He stands up and hugs my midsection and kisses my neck mmmm heaven "Sorry babe didnt mean to ignore you" he says he smelt kind of soapy I turn and we kiss "I love you" i tell him he rests his forehead on mine "and I love you baby" he smiles I melt this is what I miss the most we kiss again "go on I know how long it takes you to get ready" he winks cheek I walk away and go for the shower I let the water pour over me and think of the time when me and Josh was in the shower together I smile I wash my hair have a quick shave and get dried I have Josh's MMG top on and trackie bottoms I blow dry my hair have only an hour left gahhh as soon as its dried I straighten it. Josh comes in do not get distracted I warn myself but too late he takes his top off and am staring at his body "all yours" he says god hes cocky I smile at him "Best had be" I say Josh laughs he always does at my threatening behaviour Josh grabs his tshirt and jeans and gets ready in front of me "You not getting ready" he says honestly what does he think am doing I turn and stare at him pointing to the hairstraightners he points at time oh shit have 30 mins left ok dont panic I can do make up while doing hair I grab the make up bag and it is harder than what I thought gahh Josh laughing doesnt help I throw my eye liner at him but he catches it and gives it back "Ill leave you in peace" he kisses my cheek ok hes gone I put a cd on to help me get ready 20 mins to go hair done but have to restart all make up I got the eye liner and lip liner confused and have red eyes and black lips fuck I quickly wipe it off Josh comes in with a glass of wine and laughs at me I warn him about telling Patrick but I know that Josh knows that he will be pushing his luck he leaves the wine I take a quick gulp ok 10 minutes make up done hooray I put on my new underwear and put the black dress on me I thought it made me look slim and put the boots on yay am done in time I give my hair a last go with straightners and put everything away and put my stuff in my new handbag Josh knocks on the door I go to answer it his jaw hits the floor "do I look ok" I ask oh god I look awful am going to have to get chaged Josh finally speaks "You look georgous" he tells me I hug him yay that was the right answer Josh he hugs me back "How the hell am I going to keep my hands off you?" he whispers I grin "I got new underwear on" i whisper back Josh releases the hug "Fuck Patrick and Sadie" he says and pushes in to the bedroom I grab his arm "now now well be late" I tell him he looks sad I laugh "I promise later on" i tell him he smiled and kisses me he grabs my hand I get my bag and off we go.

These boots were such a bad idea and are now painful I cant moan to Josh as he will just moan on about how much money I wasted on them and should of gone for comfort men have no idea. We enter the pub there is only me and Josh there I grab my phone and see that Sadie texted "Be 5 mins babe get me a malibu and coke and Patrick Bud xx" honestly Im her servant I tell Josh and he simply nodds yes Josh nodding is very helpful right now. He gets me a Vodka and diet coke and we grab a table Josh is sat oposite me I have no idea how this started but I always sit next to Sadie and Patrick and Josh sit together Josh holds my hands in his and has a smile on his face "I did miss you you know" he says to me "And I missed you" I tell him he gives me his cocky grin "Did you manage not to poison yourself" honestly Josh let the chicken incident go instead I stick my tounge out at him "That tounge could be exploring my mouth right now" Ok hes leaning over for a kiss but have noticed Sadie oh shit "Josh here" I tell him he leans even closer so gave him a quick kiss he looks upset but then cheers up when Patrick sits next to him Sadie sits next to me Josh and I let go of each others hand I gave Sadie a quick hug as we always do "Cheers babe" she says for her drink I tell her its Josh but him and Patrick are in a deep conversation so she is unable to thank him. Josh never looks that interested with conversations with me Sadie gives me a smirk and hums in my ear the Bridal March song honestly I thought my best friend would be on my side I give her a look and she laughs "I cant believe Josh caught you when you was wearing it" Oh god am not drunk enough for this I blush Josh and Patrick laugh at me I could kill Sadie right now Patrick decided to announce that I am the blushing bride I want to go home right now Josh is laughing and high fives Patrick just whose side is he on?

After a few more drinks its time to go I link my arm through Sadie's we chat about this and that "So howd Patrick find your dress" I ask Sadie laughed "It came in post and he opened it" Ok maybe I could get the boxes delivered to me again and Josh could open them no he would still want to know why I had 6 more dresses Sadie whispers "I can't believe he caught you" she giggles is she not over it "I daydreamed that I was wearing that dress you was in a red corset style dress and Patrick was best man" Sadie seemed engrossed "and" she asks "Josh caught me" I tell her she laughs "could only happen to you chicken" We enter another pub it is slightly more busy I tell Sadie am going to the toilet but she insisted on coming with me. We enter the toilet do our thing and chat for a bit "You know babe you look stunning tonight" I thank her "Honestly I mean with all the dresses you have to chose from" she laughs ok Sadie thats plenty I give her a slight playful push and we go to find the boys. Josh and Patrick again are again in a deep talk they suddenly shut up when we get there it couldnt be about sports I wonder what it is Josh sneakily puts his hand under the table and squeezes my knee I smile at him but he is now talking to Patrick. I talk to Sadie I whisper "I have no idea where to put the dresses all I know it Josh cant know a thing about it" i say Josh looks at me oh fuck how much he hear "Josh cant know about what" he asks oh god ok think "er your birthday present" I lie he gives me the 'your lying' look but talks away to Patrick Sadie grins at me and I need to get extremly drunk.

A bit later well ok no idea late on it is we leave to go to the Night Club I talk to Sadie and hold Josh's hand I love holding his hand I like it when he gives it a squeeze I tell Sadie about the 360 and she agrees with me ha ha Josh. We enter the club and again me and Sadie go to the toilets After we had been we got talking Sadie is extremly drunk "You know I have never seen Josh this happy" she tells me am pleased "you two suit each other" I think so too just then this girl walks in I freeze ok its ok she hasnt noticed me I am interupted by Sadie snapping her fingers "You ok babe" I nodd "No you aint are you" "I have to get out of here" i tell her "What wrong you claustrophobic" she laughs oh Sad this really isnt the time I have just seen the dirty bitch who stole my ex I knew that they were married but must have come here on honeymoon or something oh god it must mean he is here too oh god fuck I cant see him or Josh cant Josh would kill him oh god what do I do I grab Sadie's arm and pull her in the toilet "Sad you know that girl that walked in here" I whisper "The stick insect" she replies I tell her to keep voice down and tell her who it is Sadie is stunned "fuckin whore" she says oh god I cant deal with a violent Sadie and a violent Josh I tell Sadie we need to leave here and leave now Sadie grabs my arm and pulls me along out of the toilet I see Josh and Patrick at bar ok they dont have drinks I cuddle up to Josh and tell him Im bored of this place Sadie moans to Patrick too ha I knew my girl wouldnt let me down now deep breath stay close to Josh and dont attract attention to yourself I tell myself I get to the door ha yes oh shit there he is the bastard that broke me in two well I have Josh and I love Josh and am going to marry Josh I could happily let Josh and Patrick beat on him but have almost made it ok Patrick and Sadie are out then as Josh grabs the door he says my name oh fuck fuck fuck fuck I turn and see him honestly what did I ever see in him "Wow you look good" he tells me last time you said that is when you wanted to sleep with me "Ok thanks" I say trying to escape "Is this your boyfriend" he points to Josh I nodd "yes he is we have to now" I grab Josh but then I hear him introducing himself to Josh oh shit Josh looks confused then he realises oh fuck Sadie is talking to Patrick she must be telling him I had no idea he was here I love Josh with everything and more he is my one my perfect man my Mr Darcy or Heathcliffe or any of the litery greats lets go Josh I wish "Take care of her" he tells Josh cheeky bastard "I will better than you ever did" Josh replied ok good Josh we dont need to fight "hey man it wasnt my fault it was hers" he tells him I am stunned how the hell is it my fault "No it was yours you cheated on her" Josh says yay Josh just needs a horse and we could gallop away ok maybe not gallop that would be way too scary Josh turns grabs my hand and we leave haha fuckface I am so happy with Josh right now Patrick yawns "We going to go" he tells Josh oh no dont I want to beg but I want to be alone with him Josh nodds and gives him their handshake thing Sadie hugs me "Will be ok babe promise" she whispers I smile Josh and Sadie kiss on cheek as I do with Patrick and we split up I walk hand in hand with Josh lost in my own world we walk in silence.

When we get in to the flat Josh sits on sofa I sit next to him he gives me a hug "you ok" he whispers "im fine you" I say confused "It wasnt me who saw my ex" Oh god hes pissed "Josh" i say pulling away looking at him "I had no idea he was here I came to america to get away from him I love you" I tell him "Why didnt you tell me that you saw him" he asks "I saw his wife but I didnt see him" I answer truthfully he nodds "ok when you saw him did you feel anything for him" Aww Joshy no need to be insecure "I felt like I am a lucky girl to have you" he smiles and we kiss "You never did show me your new underwear" I giggle and we run in to the bedroom.

The next morning my head hurts I look at Josh sleeping man he is a hotty I cuddle up to him I try and remember last night oh yes the painful memory of the ex honestly had he followed me no dont be silly he is married and a total loser I shall never think of him anymore I kiss Josh's cheek gently I love Josh so much. I think about random things and he begins to stir "Good morning hun" he says kissing my head "morning J" I reply I know how much he hates J he squeezes me "What you doing today" he asks me "spending it with my boyfriend" I reply well what did he think I was doing "but your boyfriend has plans with Patrick babe" he tells me honestly did he not want to spend time "Well then I shall see Sadie" i reply "Ok babes" he gets up and goes for a shower he is in a strange mood hope he is ok with the ex boyfriend thing I get dressed and text Sadie who agrees to come over. Josh comes through and sits next to me he puts an arm around me "We will do something later" he promises "mmm hmmm" I tell him am pissed off with him I mean he is away wrestling and comes back and rather be with Patrick he knows am mad he puts his shoes on and gives me a kiss on cheek "see you later" he says but I dont reply he sighs and leaves bloody arsehole.

Sadie comes round half an hour later I spill all about run in with Josh she smiles is Sadie on his side? "Look dont worry hun" she has a grin on her face she is keeping a secret oh god what is the secret I hate not knowing ok maybe Josh is with the FBI no no he wouldnt Josh is planning a present for me no thats not it oh no I realise Josh is having an affair he is late we argue a lot he has been texting more than usual oh fuck I look at the time its 1.00 I need wine Sadie had been speaking to me but not took a thing in "I need a drink" I tell her "Ok Tea Coffee" she asks "Wine" is my reply "Babe its only 1.00" she sounds worried I will not be turning into an alcoholic I just need a glass and chocolate. I grab my coat and bag Sadie follows. We go to the corner shop and we pick a box of white wine and I grab a dairy milk. We get back in to the flat and Sadie is looking at her phone I get us a glass of the wine "Look hun whats wrong you have gone funny" she asks sympathetically does she not know "Josh" I say nearly crying "Is cheating on me" I tell her she spits the wine and laughs hysterically she sits next to me on the sofa "Josh would never cheat on you babe" she tells me I explain to her his odd behavior oh god its payback for the wedding dress "Josh and Patrick are just having a lads thing" she begins to say I think she is lying oh god am now planning my next move she looks worried oh god Sadie please tell me am wrong she grabs her phone she is texting Josh and now hell know that I know about the affair "Please listen to me Josh is not and never will cheat on you the boy loves you way too much" "well how'd you explain his behaviour" I ask my phone beeps and I have a text of Patrick Patrick never texts me oh god I feel sick I read the message 'Trust me and S J is not NOT not cheating on you' of course Patrick would take his side they are best friends I want to put on my wedding dress and crawl into bed with the wine and chocolate and cry but Sadie sighs "Come on chick lets get you ready" ready for what I wonder its now 3.00 and have had 2 well ok I have no idea how much wine i have had to drink and bar of chocolate am so depressed Sadie picks a long black skirt that I had never worn and a corset top which was also new I go for a quick shower and Sadie does my hair I cant help but wonder why all this effort she has curled my hair and does my make up as am not trustworthy to do my own in my state I get dressed its now 5.15 Sadie looks worried "Come on hun lets go for tea" I simply nodd am so not in mood for this I grab my bag and lock the door.

We get into a taxi and get to a posh looking restaurant right now a McDonalds would suit me I pay the man and open the door Sadie climbs over to the side I was at she closes the door and drives off oh fuck I want to kill you Sadie and plan her death in my head some hands are on my shoulder great am about to be mugged I let out a sigh and turn around its Josh wow he looks so handsome in a shirt and jeans no no forget his sexyness he is a cheater "Wow babe you look good" he smiles dont you dare fall for it I warn myself oh god Im falling for it "Come on we have reservations" he says as he grabs my hand I pull away "With which girlfriend" I ask him oh god I didnt want to fight in middle of the street he faces me again "I am not having an affair" he tells me oh he is going to make this hard for me "Well you are being different" i tell him "I promise on my life I am not having an affair just come in and we can talk about this" oh god I want to be sick "I cant" I say looking away oh god am about to be dumped in front of total strangers "Babe please for me just come in" he sounds worried now oh god am about to meet the girl he is having an affair with I shake my head "I just want to go home" He looks panicked he grabs my shoulders and he kisses me oh lord why am I kissing him back "Please hon just come in for me" and I nodd do not let him see you cry if nothing else I warn me we enter the restaurant its very posh in here Josh hates posh restaurants he is more a take away McDonalds Subway kind of guy he goes to the man at the reception point the man smiles and shows us to a private table away from the crowds oh god we sit down the man smiles and puts his hand on my shoulder ok am confused I read the menu do not look at Josh Josh is bad I try to look at the food and decide on Italian Chicken with Pasta and wine if only I could have a drip with Vodka and Wine I may just survive this the waiter takes our order and Josh orders a bottle of wine ok he hates wine I play in my head what is about to happen "we had good times kid but I found better" a small lump forms in my throat god I want to go and leave this restaurant there is an awkward silence between us until my phone beeps ok its Sadie apologising for what she did and so she should how would she feel if I had been mugged I wonder the waiter pours us the wine I secretly wish I could just drink it from the bottle I thank him and he goes away Josh is looking all nervous ha good "so do you really believe I am having an affair" he leans over I could slap him and walk away where George Clooney is waiting for me I dont know I was so convinced but now am not so sure I shrug "would explain your strange behaviour" i reply ok thats good I didnt sound like I was about to cry He grabs my hands in his "I promise that I am not and never will be you are the only one I have ever truly love" he tells me shit think am going to cry why does he have to say these things he smiles at me just then dinner comes I am so thankful I take a little bites Josh grins at me "Is that chicken cooked" ok Josh this is not the time to make jokes I ignore him am feeling more and more sick now should never have had all that wine the room is on a boat I swear. I dont eat much and neither does Josh the waiter takes our plates away and we sit again in silence. The waiter comes back and ask about dessert I refuse it as am now petrified that it would be making another apperance. Josh says no too and asks for the bill he pays for it and we leave.

We walk through the nature park I am thankful that am not in heels I am a bit wobbly and the park is grassy and stoney and would not be a could combination. We dont speak to each other I still want to kill him about half way Josh stops "Its a beautiful night" he says I shrug its the worse night of my life ever "Sit down a minute I think we should talk" oh fuck fuck shit here it comes the moment where my perfect 2 years are ruined I begrudgingly sit Josh sits next to me I swallow hard I am trying so hard not to cry he faces me I look to the side he grabs my hand I want to slap him "JOSH HARTER YOU HEARTLESS FUCKWIT" but no words can come out I feel drained with the emotions and tiredness and wine oh why did I drink so much I look at him he is smiling he wouldnt be smiling if he knew what I was going through "Ok I have to be honest here" Oh no dont I want to beg him but instead I nodd "We have been together for over two years" No shit sherlock " and it has been the best two years ever for me" but what Josh "I dont want to be boyfriend and girlfriend" I nodd I need to run away but cant "I want more than that" oh god he has a younger bigger boobs model "I want to be husband and wife" I swollow what did he just say I look at him "Marry me" he says OH MY GOD Josh was never having an affair he loves me oh I love you too Josh I nodd "Yes I love you" I tell him he gives a smile and we kiss I am so happy and so drunk right now Josh goes into his jeans pocket and presents me with a ring ok the ring is a little ugly but will love it none the less "I love you" he says as he places it on my finger and the ring is too tight as well. I am so in love right now I would even turn down George Clooney me and Josh are hand in hand he is smiling "do you like the ring" he asks oh god I cant ruin this moment "I love it" I lie at work I often searched the internet for the perfect ring and this one would be in my hate list its so ugly and tight and have no feeling in finger but cant tell Josh that he is still smiling "Did you really think I was having an affair" he laughs oh god hes going to be using this against me too I shrug he is still laughing he squeezes my hand and stops I face him "when I saw you in the wedding dress" I blush "I realise that that is what I wanted to be your husband I love you so much" he pulls me into a hug "I love you Josh" we kiss "one thing" he says as we begin to walk "at least you have a dress" I laugh oh god I have 6 more Josh.

At home I grab my phone and text Sadie 'guess who isgonna b Mrs J Harter' and sent it to her as Josh texted Patrick we cuddle up on the sofa Josh notices the box of wine and smiles "Is that your source of comfort" he knew that when he goes away I eat chocolate and drink wine I nodd my head is rested on his shoulder I get a text off Sadie 'told u J not having affair which dress u gonna wed in' oh crap Josh has seen the text I pretend Sadie is drunk but Patrick tells him that she has not had anything to drink since being with me oh no I just say its a joke he is still not convinced he gently kisses the top of my head and goes to play on the 360 thing. I decide to go to bed but before I do I find some more underwear Josh hadnt seen yet I put on a corset and french knickers I chuck his MMG top on am going to seduce my fiance I go back in the front room with a catalogue I will pretend to read and Josh will want me. Ok 5 minutes he is still on game ok I take the top off "hot isnt it" i tell him its actually bloody freezing he nodds "Josh on our wedding night what underwear would you prefer me in" he shrugs "whatever babe" GRRRR he turns and sees me ok am pretending to read again he is smirking I look up "Glad I am marrying you" he says getting up and sitting on the sofa I sit on his knee we kiss passionately his hand running up my leg and on back am so turned on right now.

Have now decided sex being engaged is way better than boyfriend and girlfriend. Am in bed waiting for my future husband I look at the ring ok Josh I could maybe like it oh god I hate it its too tight and ugly ok Josh doesnt need to know true feelings on ring maybe I could lose it but then he may hate me for losing in gahh in a no win situation I look at my secret catalogue full of rings I have circles my faves Josh doesnt know of this and he is not to find out. Oh is that him I hide the catalogue away and grab my mag I pretend am reading problem pages he enters god this man is way too beautiful he smiles ok he has caught me staring but do you blame me he sits on the bed "Weird night huh" I nodd "Josh yesterday at the pub" I ask he nodds "why did you stop talking to Patrick when Sadie and Me came back from toilet" he blushed he looks so cute "Cos I was asking him about proposing to you and telling him about the way you looked in that wedding dress" I blush now "You looked so perfect and I know you said you didnt care about marriage because of my ex but it feels so right and I love you and want to be with you forever" he smiles I kiss him he gets into bed and I cuddle close to him I love him so much I sigh so contently he wraps his arms around me and kisses my head "I cant wait for you to be Mrs Josh Harter" he tells me with smile I smile back at him "me neither" i reply I feel my eyes close.

The next morning I am poked by Josh gahh bloody man "Wake up" he pleads "no" i say "Please please please" he is begging I wish hed sleep but it no good he isnt going to sleep he is hyper no idea why though I open my eyes Josh is smiling Im not "good morning hun!" he says how can he be so happy "hey" i reply he kisses my cheek he is still grinning "So what we doing today" I ask him "well its our day so we can do whatever you want but was thinking" oh god what is he planning last time it was a computer championship with his friends "we could go and get a dvd to watch and takeaway for later" Josh bounced up and down all hyper can he not calm down? I nodd not really taking in what he has said "yay can we get transformers please please please" he begs bless he is like a child at xmas "but Josh we have seen it loads" I pout "awww" he sounds upset he looks upset "We will see" he grins knowing that he is going to get what he wants damn him I bregudgingly get up "where you going" he says in a silly voice "to the toilet" I tell him he runs past me "Im going first" he says running and laughing I shake my head and laugh he can be daft at times but I love him I sigh and sit on the bed I look at my ring again but its no use I hate it so much its so tight but I cant tell Josh he would be upset. He walks back into the room grinning what is with him today am scared! I smile and get up to go to the bathroom but Josh blocks the doorway gahh smirking "where you going" he says "to the bathroom you know before you ran in there" he laughs god I really need my wee now "you're going nowhere" I give him a sad look "Please Josh I really really need" "Nope now sit on the bed" he orders me I sigh I would try and barge past him but he is way too strong and he seems to be in silly mood bloody man is too early for this he puts his hands on my shoulders and forces me back gahh why does he have to be sooooo strong and why wont he stop grinning oh god is there more revenge to come for the wedding dress? He forces me onto the bed and sits next to me next thing I know he pulls me in for a kiss mmmm I think I have died and gone to heaven this man is sooo perfect I love him so much he pulls away and rests his forehead on mine did I mention I love him? he grins "I love you so much hun and I really did miss you when I was away" he whispers I smile "I missed you and I do love you" I see him smile he is so adorable he gives me another kiss "dont be long in the bathroom I will miss you" he whispers with a smile I smile back to him and I go to the bathroom.

I come back through and Josh is laying on the bed asleep I dont think so Harter I quietly go to him and poke him revenge for earlier he opens his eyes and smile "come here" he whispers and pulls me in for a hug he gently kisses the top of my head and I cuddle into him. I would never dare tell him but when he goes I do worry that he wont come back what with plane crashes and I dont want him to stop what he does cos of me I hear him sigh gently am in a deep thought of just everything really I do really love Josh but sometimes I feel as if I am not good enough for him he would tell me off for this but you know but Josh has made me feel loads more better about self and he is my best friend ever he makes me smile and feel better I wonder what he is thinking about what goes through his head i smile i know that we are and will be happy together "hey what you thinking about hun" he whispers "oh nothing much you" i whisper back "that im lucky that I have you I love you so much baby" he said I smile I look up at him and we kiss and I snuggle back down "I cant wait to get married and have a family with you" he tells me " me neither" i tell him we lay in a comfortable silience for a bit then get up.

Josh and me must of drifted to sleep was fuming with Josh as he woke me up when I was dreaming of Hugh Grant and Colin Firth fighting over me a la Bridget Jones "5 more minutes" I told him but sadly neither one was there when I got my wish grrrr so I got up


	2. Over the coming weeks

As she turned off her computer and picked up her bag Olivia grabbed her mobile and texted her friends to see if they were still out tonight. She needed this night out more than ever especially when Taylor got the job as her boss. Olivia knew it was going to be hard considering Taylor hated her Taylor was a rags to riches story while Olivia was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Daddy's little rich girl Taylor had branded her.

"See ya next week" Olivia said coldly to Taylor as Taylor gave her a false smile Olivia turned her back and rolled her eyes and walked away. Her friend Karin replied to say she was Olivia smiled she ran to the local Designer shops to pick up a new outfit "Could never be seen in the same thing twice" was Olivia's mantra.

Olivia arrived out and poured herself a glass of chardonnay as she popped in the shower and got out quickly and got ready with music blasting out. She applied her make up perfectly and put her long hair in a perfect bun. She grabbed her new bag and put her make up money and mobile in it as her bell rang. Karin, Katy, Sara and Charlotte had come as the girls greeted each other they had a glass of wine and applied finishing touches before heading out "Hey ladies how about we go down and dirty for a change" Charlotte winked "What do you mean" Olivia asked unsure if she liked the sound of it "I mean instead of going to the high end of the clubs lets go middle class" The girls wooped although Olivia wasn't so keen on this idea to her middle class is Taylor and her stupid boyfriend.

As the night rolled on the girls entered the Sunset Bar they ordered cocktails and danced and went for a sit down. When Olivia and Karin finished their drinks they headed to the bar leaving Charlotte Sara and Katy to talk. As they stood at the bar Olivia could hear "OMG's" she rolled her eyes and turned to her left and saw Taylor, her enemy, with 2 guys Olivia did not want to see Taylor when she wasnt working but the barman had already got her and Karin's drink Taylor spun round and saw Olivia "Oh god" She whispered "Hey Olivia" She smiled Olivia rolled her eyes and turned around "oh hi Taylor you know Karin" she said quickly not wanting to be there much longer "Hi" Taylor smiled at her "This is Josh and heres Patrick" Taylor said linking her arm through his "my boyfriend" Olivia smiled "Nice to meet you I best get back have other friends waiting" She said grabbing her drink "Ok see you later" Taylor smiled Olivia returned the smile and left with Karin "She seems ok" Karin said "well she isnt she is horrible and them guys yuk" Olivia pulled a disguisted face Karin laughed.

"So what was that about" Patrick asked his girlfriend "oh that's Olivia" "I know that you did say her name" Patrick rolled her eyes "But she'll be calling me more more later" Josh winked and laughed Taylor rolled her eyes "dont get involved with that girl Josh you wouldnt belong in her world" Taylor warned him he smiled and looked over at Olivia who was laughing with her friends 'or maybe I could' he thought. Josh Patrick and Taylor got a round of drinks and headed to their friends they were with.

Josh kept looking over at Olivia she wasn't like any other girl he's ever seen she was beautiful sweet sexy he wanted to be near her again the table behind Olivia and Karin came free and Josh said that he needed to sit so the gang sat there Josh made sure he sat behind Olivia "I'm popping to the bathroom" Olivia whispered to Karin who nodded and let her pass. Josh panicked scared in case she went quickly drunk his drink and made an excuse to go to the bar again he managed to get a spot near the toilets. He saw Olivia come out 'she is so hot' he thought to himself "Hey want a drink" he said to her "Oh hey I think we are going now" she told him he could not help but look disappointed "Oh well maybe next time" he said Olivia gave him a smile and put her hand on his arm "that would be nice or if you are free maybe we could do dinner or something" she offered Josh looked up "Yeah def what's your number so I can ring you" Olivia smiled and gave him it Josh smiled "Ill call you tomorrow" he promised Olivia smiled and kissed his cheek and walked away. The girls drank up and left.

As Olivia got home she took her heels off and sat on the sofa will flicking through the tv she heard her mobile buzz it was a text from Josh she smiled he was sweet cute not her usual type but best of all he was friends with Taylor. She pressed read on her phone "Hey its Josh how are you what you upto you still out" Olivia hit reply "Hey Josh Im good how are you not too drunk I hope :) Im at home now the girls bailed on me :( Olivia x" innocent enough Olivia's phone started to buzz Josh was ringing her she hit answer "Hey Josh" She greeted him "Hey Olivia what you upto" he sounded like he was outside somewhere "Oh not much might order takeaway and call it a night you" she answered "Oh I kinda got left behind in the group hey fancy meeting me for dinner now" he asked Olivia quickly glanced in the mirror she looked good she thought "Yeah that would be nice where are you" she asked "Ill come and meet you I dont like the thought of you wondering the streets on your own" Olivia smiled that was sweet of him she gave Josh her address and he said he'd be there soon. as Olivia hung up she quickly brushed her teeth and touch up her make up and waited for Josh. About 10 minutes later there was a buzz Olivia turned off the tv and headed down "Hey Josh" She greeted him giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek "hey sorry am late" he panted "your not" she smiled linking her arm through his "Lets go" he smiled and they walked down.

They walked to the restaurants but the only ones that was opened was greasy takeaways "Fancy a pizza" Josh offered "Oh Im not really all that hungry but you can" Josh asked if she was sure and Olivia nodded as they sat in a comfy booth next to each other Olivia just ordered a diet coke while Josh got a pizza and a coke Josh made small talk with Olivia until the pizza came it look delish to Josh but awful to Olivia Josh kept offering her a slice but Olivia refused. After the pizza Josh offered to go for a little walk around with Olivia to which she accepted. Josh was certainly handsome Olivia wondered what her girlfriends would say about her dating him. They walked along the river chatting about this and that Josh spotted a bench and took Olivia's hand and they sat down "Look Olivia Im not very good at all this stuff" Josh confessed "your doing just fine" Olivia told him "Olivia Ive been dying to kiss you all night" he said looking in to her eyes Olivia swallowed hard "Whats stopping you" she whispered back as they got closer their lips met and they shared their first kiss with each other Josh had one arm around Olivia and his other on her leg as Olivia had one arm around his neck and her other stroking his cheek Olivia could taste the grease of the pizza that made her feel sick but she had to admit she was enjoying this kiss.


End file.
